The Inner Ramblings of a Deranged Sports mind
Hello world.
Welcome to the new and improved ramblings. This weekly post is where I’m going to dump all my sports knowledge/opinions/whatever crosses my mind,
All he needs is a nice nap
and you will love it.
Now have fun, dammit.
SERGIO KINDLE AND CARS DON’T MIX
As previously mentioned on this site, last week, University of Texas Linebacker Sergio Kindle decided to do an impromptu remodeling of a fellow Texas student’s apartment…with the front of his car…at 2:50 a.m….while texting.
No I’m not making this up.
According to his lawyer, Kindle was “either sending or receiving a text message” when he crashed the vehicle and after he and his fellow home decorators pushed the car out of the building Kindle decided that “He knew he was hurt at the time and that he needed to go home and go to bed,”.
Makes sense, usually after I cause $8,700 worth of damage to an apartment with my car I just feel like laying down. I feel like that warrants a higher priority than “I’ll deal with this tomorrow”.
The same lawyer, Brian Roark, probably didn’t want anyone remembering that his client was suspended from the first three games of last season as punishment for a drunken driving arrest. But this time, he was just texting…
Sure, that’s why you abandon a freshly destroyed car at 3 am, because you couldn’t stop “txtin ur BFF, LOL!!!”
So please Colt McCoy, If Sergio Kindle texts you asking you if you need a ride to practice, just say no.
THE NBA: WHERE 2010 HAPPENS
Time Travel may be necessary
If a free agent signing period takes place and nobody cares does it still happen?
Outside of Detroit, Charlotte and Oklahoma City (where I’m still not sure fans exist) is there any type of interest in this offseason? Sure, the Shaq-tus joined the King’s court and Vincesanity is now a member of the Mickey Mouse All-Stars, but with a 2010 free agent crop that includes LeBron, D-Wade, Bosh, Dirk, Joe Johnson and Paul Pierce, just to name a few, on the horizon I’m not entirely convinced David Stern won’t use his infinite powers to accelerate time and get LBJ in NYC as quickly as possible.
I’m surprised the sales of Hyperbaric Chambers in New York haven’t skyrocketed. Instead, Knick fans have to deal with another year of fast-paced crap before Bron Bron becomes Spike Lee’s new favorite basketball player.
HAIR, BEAUTIFUL HAIR
It’s great to see the Mullet making a strong comeback in the world of sport.
Look how it flows...
Guys like Jared Allen make me wish I had the balls the pull off a look as risqué as the infamous mullet.
But even Jared Allen cannot match the greatness that is Tim Lincecum’s mullet. It’s Flawless.
The Giants cap nestled oh so perfectly right atop the business, only to let the party flow seamlessly out the back. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Tim Lincecum has the best hair in sport. With apologies to the Birdman.
Chalk him up as another member of the freak show that is Major League Baseball.
When Kevin Youkilis can have a full blown fumanchu on his caveman ass-face and still beat out pretty boy GQ model Mark Teixierieiaiaia for All-Star game votes, you know your league could use a makeover. But I guess when Mr. Burns is commissioner the bar has been set fairly low.
BRANDON JENNINGS IS AWESOME
"F*** the Knicks". Awesome.
If you hadn’t noticed Brandon Jennings is the new Ron Artest, and I am thrilled. The NBA needs a new enigmatic superstar for this generation and boy oh boy did they get one.
You knew he had promise when he showed up at the McDonald’s All-American game rocking the House Party high-top hair cut and promising to break the games assist record, which he did.
Then he spurns Arizona to go to Italy, which was apparently a good decision, maybe?
Then he starts talking smack about Ricky Rubio right before the draft saying that he was overrated and that he owned Rubio in the one game they played head to head this past season.
Then the coup-de-gras, his grand entrance at the NBA draft four picks after he was selected. It’s one of those moments that you will always remember exactly where you were when it happened. Sheer genius. Picked after Rubio and by Milwaukee, which had to be the last place he wanted to go, but still manages to steal the limelight. Brilliance.
And if there were any doubters of his greatness left his most recent escapade squashed all of them. In a profanity-riddled conversation with confidant and rapper Joe Budden, Jennings ripped several teammates, tough guy Luke Ridnour included, made fun of Rubio and topped it off with this gem.
“F*** the Knicks.”
Good Lord, I think my heart has stopped beating.
This kid hasn’t even touched the court and he’s managed to divide a locker room, rip on a rival and cast himself as one of the most hated men in New York all in one fell swoop. Needless to say, I am thoroughly impressed.
I welcome you with open arms Mr. Jennings, now lets see if you can keep it up.
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