Fun With Adam Schein Of FoxSports

This is the first of a possibly weekly series that will be tagged “Good Times With Schein” We do not mean to offend to anyone, especially professional contributors so let’s just have some fun shall we?

Schein’s Nine is published each…well, whenever the hell FoxSports wants to I guess. This week Schein discusses the Cardnals and Derrick Mason, among other things.  Let’s get into it:

What’s the fear of standing up for the Arizona Cardinals?

Right off the bat, I’m a little scared here. There are many things to fear that he mentions, but number one is going back to bandwagon days in Arizona. Man, that was rough.

Are you worried about their bleak history? The Super Bowl loser jinx? Think the road to the big game was too fluky one year ago and there’s no chance the Cards match it?

Yes, yes, and not no chance, but little.

For the record, I don’t remotely believe Derrick Mason is retired.

Good to know. I’m assuming you have talked to him and have some sort of reasoning behind this claim.

what I really believe is Mason has been frustrated with his contract in Baltimore for a while now and “retirement” was an ultimate power play. Trust me — that’s what the Ravens believe. And that’s the wrong way for Mason to handle it.

Two problems. First, Schein has no way to actually know this. Second, if this is true, the sporting world needs to look at a dictionary. When was it okay for people to “retire” for contract negotiations? Favre has had a profound effect on the game.

I cringe and laugh every time I hear that the Bears aren’t going to use Devin Hester as a full-time return specialist. And I fall out of my chair when it gets mentioned that he will only be back on special teams in key situations.

Damn, that is a lot of emotion piled up because of a return specialist.

If it means giving him 5-10 less plays at receiver, if he’s off the field for a few Matt Forte dives so he can put a game away in the second quarter or change field position in the third, you do it.

Well, you do unless your WR core consists of Rashied Davis, Earl Bennett, Juaquin Iglesias, and Johnny Knox. The only one of those with any stats is Davis who had 445 yards receiving last year. Yea, Hester might be needed on the field sometimes.

Cooley scored just one touchdown last year and revealed that Jim Zorn promised him at least six this season. I think that will happen with everyone more comfortable in the offense.

Another fantastic prediction with nothing behind it. It’s always “I think” in this week’s article. Any reasoning?

He also told us that Jason Campbell got “conservative” last season, seemingly trying to protect his streak of not throwing a pick.

Fair enough…

I believe in Campbell but thought he was too cautious last year.

What an insight!! Where did you get that idea from? Oh yeah, Cooley told you 5 seconds earlier.

You can make excuses all you want. Fact is, it was a terrible job by Calvin Pace testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug. That’s irresponsible.

Thanks. I originally thought it was a great move by a great player. But now, I can see the light! Drugs are bad! Got it…

I can see the Lions winning five games this year. That would be a success and a step in the right direction.

But eight? No shot.

This was based off of what Al Harris told him, which was odd in itself that the Packers CB would be so positive about a division foe. Still, I’m not stupid and think that the Lions will win more than 3 or 4, but no shot at 8? That’s how you end your article? We should call the Lions management and tell them they have no shot at winning. Then we should hang up and laugh about how awesome and smart we are!

Schein’s Nine 7/16 [Fox Sports]